For the past six months, I've puttered along, trying to push the mommy worries aside and just enjoy the kids.
Time's up--Friday we face our next cardiology appointment. I don't have much hope that he will be calm during the ultrasound. So we may be going for a sedated ultrasound/ECG at a later date. Mommy dread commences.
He's so busy and eager and full of joy, I fall in love every time I see him. Tonight, he toddled away from me, looked over his shoulder, paused, giggled at me, toddled again, looked over his shoulder paused and giggled, repeated the process until he fell on the floor just as he was moving out of my sight. He is an amazing little guy.
I don't want to ever smother him or his sister with my worries--and oh my goodness how I worry. Sometimes I'm incredibly hacked off that my beautiful little guy will have to deal with this for his entire life. And sometimes I wonder if I'm to blame somehow--was I so stressed after the fire that I caused this malformation.
Maybe it's the dread/anticipation of the appointment that makes the anxiety so strong.
Here's hoping for a good report on Friday.