Gone Moving

We are eyeball deep in moving stuff to the new house.

Two floods + one house fire and we still have a lot of things (mostly books--how can we get rid of books? They aren't luxuries; they're bare essentials).

Here is my little tidbit to you: Pack things you don't like as much on the bottom of every box you store in your home. Then, when the flood hits, the things you least like are destroyed first.

What's that? Most homes don't flood regularly?

Oh. (so that is why the air quality is better at our new home.)

Anyway....

Thanks to our friends Cathy and Steve for putting in monumental work to help us.

My Dad has been up to help. My Mom and StepDad are here now too.

Thanks goodness for that. We have lots more to do, but it is ours at last.

Holy Mortgage Batman!

I hesitated to post this, because we're not quite there yet. But I think we will close on the house tomorrow and have the keys by Monday. We have been up and down several times in this whole process and, typical, we were up and down several times today.

When we woke up, we thought I would need to sign some things today and do the final close tomorrow. By Midday, it seemed more paperwork had failed to arrive where it was needed (we are an emergency rush so usually it takes much longer) so the closing would be shifted to next week.

By 5:30 and after many phone calls, we coordinated it so that we could doe everything tomorrow. We had to see the house for the final walk-through while the current owner was moving out (and I felt bad about that--but I think he really wants out quickly too).

So as long as I can get the cashier's check tomorrow, we should be good. I hope nothing else pops up to delay us. I hope nothing else crazy happens.

I hated to get pushy, but I really needed to just have the house transfer rather than remain on this roller coaster we've been on the last few months.

It has been such a rough few years. I became a little teary on the way over to the house because it is such a big wonderful thing that is happening. It is a little overwhelming.

because I'm forgetful

Second Grade started this week--I finished Angie's supply bags just in time. But of course there are no pictures. Hubby made a snide comment (I hope they fit) and I cut him off by saying, Are you really talking like that about what I just spent my entire afternoon working on?" Then dear daughter saw them and started to say "I like them..." in that tone that indicates there may be a but lurking. I repeated what I said to her father minutes before.

She promptly said, "Oh no Mommy. I like them."

Sometimes gratitude is spontaneous. Sometimes gratitude is earned. Sometimes gratitude is learned. And sometimes gratitude just has to be enforced with a stern tone of voice.

Also, just in case anyone still reads my blog and recalls our discovery of Kian's heart condition shortly after his birth (here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here): We received great news from his last cardiology appointment! He has had no significant change since his procedure two years ago. This is a really good sign because babies with his problem usually require multiple procedures in a very short time. He has tripled his birth weight and we have only needed one procedure. The Doctor was actually a bit giddy--how often do you see a giddy specialist?

This does not mean that he is cured. She described it as, "He has a defect, but no disease." We will go to yearly monitoring and just watch for obvious signs of trouble. We can also expect something to happen when he is a teenager--the next big burst of growth.

For now, we are extraordinarily grateful and sometimes I just tear up when I watch him play with his sister.

I'm such a goofball I completely forgot to post (well didn't forget--life just got in the way). But I'm on a bit of a posting jag tonight so I thought I should tell you all. If you're still reading.

Thanks as always for the good thoughts and support.

It happened again

We came home late from a star party at a local metropark. We plopped the exhausted kids in bed and began to watch something from the DVR. I was a little dozy so I stretched out on the couch.

I was certain I smelled something not quite right, but Chas brushed aside my concerns.

I went to check on Kian, who was fussing in his sleep.

The smell became stronger and stronger and I was certain I was not imagining that smell which was clinging in the back of my nose and throat, acrid and slightly burnt.

When I came back out of the bedroom Chas said, "You were right."

"What?"

"About the smell."

The dehumidifier burnt itself out. Thankfully, this time, the circuit breaker popped and shut off the power to the unit. No smoke or soot flowing through the house. Just a terrible burnt electronics and metal smell that lasted a good bit of the night. No longer sleepy, my adrenaline was rushing, so I managed to finish this lovely piece after viewing the damage (one dehumidifier, hot to the touch, with a few scorch marks).

It is by the Sampler Girl and is done with none of the suggested threads on a piece of Pussywillow Lugana by the gone and sorely missed Sugar Maple Fabrics. I love this fabric and so very much wish I had much much more of it. It is a perfect neutral fabric and is simply beautiful. My plan is to frame it for our new home. Hope should be a theme for everyone, but it definitely is one for our family.

Popping up, err in, err, over?

Hello again.

I can't promise I'll be posting more regularly, but I'll try. I've been very busy trying to find a house, not getting calls back form lenders, trips to the er and an mri, unexpected dental work for Angie, I did some self defense and Tae Kwon Do classes--loved it but had to give it up temporarily for financial reasons, had some very stressful times at work, Chas had some stressful news too and we're gearing up for the end of the school year. That splat you heard was me collapsing in a puddle of exhaustion.

I had a friend and her family over on Saturday (and if you like animal stories you should read about her adventures with Zip--it is amazing and touching). She mentioned that she hadn't seen any wips in a while. So I'm going to try to post wips soon. All my wips--yes all of them. Perhaps I'll shame myself into completing one. No shame isn't the right idea. Perhaps I'll motivate my serial starter self to complete something so that I can start something else. I plan to do it by designer: Chatelaine, HAED, Teresa Wentzler, The Sampler Girl and Everything Else. Doesn't that just give you something to look forward too? And as you and I scan the far outdated wips list on the sidebar, we all realize what a monumental task this will be. But at least it will be fun and pretty.

Since the First Grade Quilt has been finished and my most recent Love Quilt Square sent in, I have happily stitched on all sorts of projects. I've dug out some old favorites for the sheer pleasure of stitching. I've stitched on the Frog Prince and Bedtime Stories, on the Tree of Hope and Hope Perches. It has been fun.

I'm hoping to work on a few quilts this summer. Angie got her first big girl bed--so she'll get a twin size story quilt. I need to obtain some fabric (believe it or not) with mermaids in addition to what I have. I wouldn't mind some wizards and witches too. We are in a bit of a budget crunch, so I don't know if I'll be able to do it soon, but I'll just work with what I have first. I also want to make a napping or wall sized story quilt for Angie's first grade teacher who has been wonderful. I'll try to have it done for the first day of school so Angie can give it to her next year. I also need to do a quilt for my clerk who is retiring. Of course she picked colors I don't usually have so I don't know how I'll manage that by August, but we'll see. It will be Love Beads by FunQuilts and I'll need reds, yellows and blues. I have some blues, but not much of the others. I have some fabric, but I don't think it is enough to to a full size quilt for her bed--she may just have to be satisfied with one for napping.

And to leave you with a random thought:

I was mentioning to Chas that if we won the lottery (and I mean a really big lottery), I would have my own cable channel. And then when my favorite shows are cancelled, I would obtain them and put them on my channel so that I (and everyone else) could continue to watch new episodes of excellent shows (or even my guilty pleasures) instead of hoping for a dvd.

To date, my dream channel would have:

Farscape
Firefly
Journeyman
Pushing Daisies
Life
The Class
The Adventures of Brisco County Junior
Space Above and Beyond
Babylon 5
Earth 2
Deep Space 9

Oh there are others that are escaping me right now, but you get the point. What would you air on your channel?

What a Day (or how I spent my winter vacation)

Just wanted to share a bit of good news with those of you still reading.

Last month was one of Kian's regular heart monitoring visits. Although I had hoped differently, he wanted absolutely nothing to do with being in a dark room with a stranger for an echocardiogram. Not even the Backyardigans could stop him from howling the minute the technician entered the room. Such behavior is typical of a 19 month old. Still, I had hoped he would be miraculously calm just so we could avoid a trip to the hospital for a sedated echo.

So today was the big day. I was up at roughly 3:30 a.m. to be certain Kian nursed one last time before 4:00 a.m. I had a quiet morning to myself while I got ready. We took Angie to an early morning play date with a Karate friend (I am everlastingly grateful to her mom for volunteering to help us with Angie) by 6:00 a.m. and Chas, Kian and I were at the hospital by 6:30 a.m. to go to the Pediatric Sedation Unit.

The Nurse gave us a brisk run down of what to expect then rubbed some numbing creme on Kian's hand and foot. The sedation used on Kian today is the same type used in war zones to treat then move the soldiers--it is really fast acting and gets out of the system quickly too. The best part was that we would be with Kian the entire time and he would remain in the same room throughout all stages of the procedure. She left to retrieve some toys which kept Kian reasonably amused but barely distracted from the numbing creme, which he tried to reach by lifting the band aid every so often. A Child Life Specialist came in to give us more details about what to expect. The Anesthesiologist arrived and told us to be prepared for certain physical reactions. ome parents can be disturbed by how quickly the child drops off so the hospital did a nice job of making us comfortable by having everyone who entered the room give us information that built upon what the previous person said. I'm sharing here so that I don't forget, and to inform any other parent in a similar situation who might happen to wander here.

Basically, we were told that once the drug went through the IV, Kian would lose consciousness in a matter of seconds. The child may cry and the pitch of his cry changes just before he completely loses consciousness. The sedative may burn so they also add lidocaine, which may or may not relieve the burning sensation. The sedation process takes approximately 30 seconds and he would truly be awake one second then asleep the very next. We were warned to becareful because the child may collapse in one direction and many unprepared parents have been cracked in the face with the full force of their sedated child's face. The child's eyes may remain open and there would be rapid eye movement whether the eyes were open, partially open or closed because the child is asleep. The child may also have some involuntary movements for a time. The Anesthesiologist and a special anesthesiology nurse would monitor Kian's blood oxygen levels, pulse and blood pressure throughout sedation. A towel would go under his shoulders to ensure that he was receiving maximum air and he would have oxygen tubes. We were told that once the IV was turned off, Kian would regain consciousness in about 15 minutes. As probably every parent before me, I said I'd like a little of that sedative to take home. The Nurse quipped back, "It will cost you."

Once the numbing creme took effect, nurses arrived to insert the IV needle. As you can imagine, Kian was not pleased with this, especially when they taped his hand to a cloth covered foam board. He did try to karate chop it off after they left and he pawed at it quite a bit. I gently and repeatedly brushed my hands over his chest and belly and that seemed to keep him calm.

At 8:00 a.m. the echo tech arrived and the Anesthesiologist returned for action. I held Kian as they prepared the sedative and added it to his IV. He screamed in pain and my mind checked off that this was probably due to the burning sensation. Chas came up behind me and enfolded me and Kian in his arms while giving me back support. Within seconds, the pitch of Kian's cry changed, the nurse said, "There we go" and Kian slumped down completely with his next breath and stopped crying.

I laid him down on the bed, eyes partially opened, and the tech started the echo. My hands never left Kian--I touched his head, his hair his shoulder. I made soothing noises when he briefly fussed in his sleep--mostly for my own sake I think, since I'm sure he couldn't hear me. It suddenly hit me that something might be wrong, although we had expected that this echo would just confirm that there had been no changes since the valvuloplasty.

The cardiologist arrived to review the images captured thus far. He asked for some additional images, and the tech said, "you want that even though it's not stenotic?" I wracked my brain to remember what that word meant, but I had been awake for six hours on very little sleep so I was starting to feel a bit woozy myself.

The Doctor finally indicated that there has been no change since July of last year. He said there is some slight leakage, but nothing dangerous. The heart has not thickened (that would be the stenosis issue duh) any more and the aorta is not blocked--actually, the doctor said that his (the doctor's) aorta was probably more significantly blocked as a healthy adult than Kian's aorta. Kian's blockage was identified in the echo at a 7 and the Doctor said they don't worry until it gets around 40. Also, what they thought was a slight hole between chambers last year (which no one told us about at the time-grrrr) has appeared to close. We saw the valve directly and were told (for what we both believe to be the first time), that Kian has the outlines of three flaps, but two of them fused together creating the bi-cuspid aortic valve.

Really, as exhausting as it was, the procedure was confirmation that Kian is doing well at this time, though we still need to monitor, we may not need to do so as intensively as we have been doing. Yay Kian and yay us.

They took Kian off the sedation and he woke up immediately, although he needed my arms to support him for a while. And he willingly rested on the pillow while we changed his diaper (a big difference from the olympic wrestling matches of recent diaper changes).

Kian played with the pedialyte and didn't really drink it. The Nurse said it was okay to breastfeed anyway, however, Kian, refreshed from his deep nap, was more in an exploring frame of mind. He finally nursed for a few minutes and we alerted the nurses that we were successful. He walked out of his room on his own, then I carried him down to the toy bin. He did not want the pelican, the spider, the bears or the duck. When I mentioned the Koala, he pointed at it and smiled, so Kian took home a mini gray koala beanie baby.

We went to a local bakery and ate a small breakfast (by now it was 10:00 a.m.) Chas had a cinnamon croissant, I had an oatmeal and raisin scone and Kian had a toasted wheat bagel. We all shared but Kian seemed most fond of the bagel and my scone (Excellent taste the boy has--those were my favorites too). He sat on the wide window ledge, rather than the highchair I had grabbed. Other than the hospital tags on his ankle, casual observers would have not guessed that he had just been released from the hospital having been sedated only an hour before. He was cheerful and curious and had a healthy appetite.

We retrieved Angie from her playdate and arrived home. Chas and I had a brief doze this afternoon and that helped refresh us. Kian has been a bit more clingy than usual, and a bit more moody, but he is mostly himself tonight. Hopefully, he will be completely normal again tomorrow. Kian was quite a trooper today and I'm so proud of both he and Angie. Angie lost her tooth tonight--she was already in bed, but I think she was still wobbling it. She got up and her dad finished the job--out came a lovely little tooth. I think there is still enough time for the tooth fairy to come here tonight.

Getting up so early and having so many medical people working on Kian has given a surreal cast to the day. It's strange to acknowledge, that in some ways, this is our normal, though it isn't really normal at all.

I am deeply grateful to everyone who helped us today. We are tremendously blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving

I am thankful for my family. For my girl, who is creative in so many ways, who tells me stories all the time and who is one of the great joys of my life. For my boy, who smiles and lights up my day. For my dear husband, who loves me, even though I drive him crazy.

I'm thankful for my friends.

I'm thankful that we are all in good health, or at least our version of good health.

I'm thankful for my health insurance and the job that pays most of the bills.

I'm thankful that I can laugh, even in times of great stress.

I'm thankful for my brain which holds treasured memories, care for today and some hope (and anxiety) for the future.

I'm thankful that I have the opportunity to be creative and stitch, even if I never finish things.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

November Random Poli Sci Thoughts

I am not going through withdrawal now that the election is over. I am tremendously relieved in both the national result and the fact that while, there will still be political mudslinging and misleading information, it won't appear at regular intervals on the t.v. or radio. I thought both election night speeches were very touching. It was nice to see John McCain be himself again instead of what he became for the sake of the party. Funny, since I sincerely believe that there are far more moderates in this country, than there are on the far left or right, I wonder if he had stayed true to himself, could he have won? One of those things we'll never know.

I was pleased to see the hateful lies (as opposed to the merely political ones where they lie about the candidates past record and current stances on issues) did not prevail. I thought it was an interesting choice to have Obama deliver his speech alone on the stage. It could mean many things, but I think it highlighted nicely this singular moment in my nation's history.

I have to say "good onya" to my friend who went door to door for this election. [I'm not an Aussie, but I can't think of a better phrase for her.] Neither candidate inspired that kind of action in me, but I'm so impressed with and proud of her for following her convictions.

This is an amazing time to witness and I am cautiously hopeful for the future.

Happy Birthday Kian

Happy Birthday our beautiful little guy. You joined our little family one year ago and I am astounded and pleased and delighted and thrilled we made it through this crazy year together. Every moment since your birth has been incredibly precious to us.

You give us so much joy and love for such a small person. We are so lucky to have you. I love your big, cheery laugh when you are being tickled, or almost, very, nearly being tickled. I love you bright blue eyes that are radiant with love. I love the focus you give to a new toy or new discovery.

I love the way you knock down every tower I build, whether of soft blocks or Cheerios.

I love that you adore your big sister and always want to be where ever she is. She loves you too and calls you, "My baby boy."

I love the way you crawl when you are excited. I love the "OooooooOOOOoooooh" sound you make when you see something you like. I love that you like to cuddle with me.

I love, and am somewhat terrified, at your climbing skill. You delight us with nearly everything you do, although I will be grateful when you stop putting random things in your mouth.

You gave us a very big scare last year and I know that I will be worrying about you forever.

And as much as I am rambling here, there are not nearly enough words to describe how much we love you.

Stay well, stay happy our beloved boy.

Happy Anniversary

I love you so much and I'm so happy that with all the stress we face, we're facing it together.

Confetti all around; Streamers dance through the air

I finished colored pencils on Sunday as we returned home from our trip to PA.

And with that, I finished my first 25 project challenge, just a bit more than a year after I started it). Yes first, because I think I will dive straight in to a 50 project challenge. Yes 50. Because I want a house of our own. I'm tired of renting. And this cozy little grey house is just too small. However, I am reserving the right to purchase a few charts to celebrate my accomplishment, just not right now. But the official start of the new challenge will have to wait for it's own post--no worries that I'll have a happy dance before I start a new challenge.

I'll have pictures, oh yes indeedy, but I need Chas to download them on his computer because my computer is older than Angie and must be handled delicately in its advanced age. I have multiple floss tosses for Perphaeria's Spanish Sampler, and now I've found another silk that might work, so I'll need to take even more photos.

I need to thank Nicki because she gifted me with two HAED/Sara Butcher charts: Frog Prince [also here] (LOOK at how tall this piece is!) and Winter (I just want to dive right in those blues)

Sara Butcher is ending her license agreement with HAED so in a very short time her charts will not be available. Such a pity because I would love to have many of her designs charted (like anything on this page).

Martina has designed a series of mini mandala mysteries and I'm itching to join. I love her small designs. I want to see how much detail she packs into such a small area. I wonder how it compares to the Leporello?

Question about needle minders: how exactly does it mind needles? I love the dragonflies on this page, but if it only serves as a resting spot for needles, I should probably just make my own needlebook.

I am almost done stitching Angie's fairy for her tooth fairy pillow---now to add the words and assemble. It won't be done this month, but I hope it will be early in April.

Do you know that I have not completed a single ornament in 2008? And I've only participated in one ornament SAL. I did so well last year, but this year, I have no love for ornies. Maybe I only comfortably stitch ornaments in odd years.

Ooh, one question regarding the layout of this blog: do you see a lot of the background (green leafy bits) on the sides, or only a little? I've pondered tweaking the layout by either adding a thitd column, or by widening the columns I have. I hate to have wasted space. I'm also contemplating moving my website to save some money and reconfigure it. Not that I have a lot of spare time for all this, but it's nice to dream.

As I eagerly Await the Primary Election Results....

My main thought is: We really need to have elections in July.

Perhaps it was the block of ice encasing my car.

Perhaps it was the terrifying drive home during rush hour.

Or maybe it was the sheet of ice covering the parking lot outside the polling station.

Or the sharp, painful, freezing rain attacking my face as I returned to my car.

Or maybe just all of the above.

I love voting. I love the potential for change. I dislike the pettiness, but I love entering my selection.

In this country, women have had the right to vote in national elections for less than 100 years and I cherish my ability to cast a ballot.

But really, is it too much to ask to be able to vote when the weather is somewhat more likely to be pleasant?

Thanks and a HAED Shot

Thanks for the nice comments regarding my stitching. I certainly don't feel that my stitching is too extraordinary, but your comments gave me warm, fuzzy feeling. Not that I think my stitching is terrible; I just think that there are lots of amazing stitchers out and about with beautiful WIPS. I'm glad a few of you decided to de-lurk because I really enjoyed perusing your blogs. So many projects that I wish I were stitching or want to be stitching--I love finding new stitching blogs. I always find new links to discover and wander through. These little creative adventures are always so inspiring.

Lots of stitching temptation out there, but I'm trying to be good. I haven't had any new starts since that first frenzied week. I may add a few more, in addition to the ornaments for that SAL, but I've been enjoying stitching the new projects rather than throwing any more new projects into the list. Some old favorites are singing to me so I may give them a little love as well. I'd like to start Paradigm Lost this month, but I don't have all the colors needed for my scheme, and I'm not sure I'm wanting to purchase much in the way of new supplies at present. Unfortunately, it may just need to wait until I'm ready to spend a little more money. I can't decide if the colors I'm intending are beautiful or too busy. Maybe I'll just ponder it awhile longer.

Here is my post SAL scan of my HAED 2008 Challenge piece. It is the same as the 2007 project because I'd like to finish one big HAED and this one is intended to be a gift.

What do you think? I had hoped to complete one more column of the main color, but no such luck. I'd like to finish 2 and a half pages on this project this year, but I'm not sure if I can do it.

Oh well, it's all about the journey right?

Wishing You a Happy New Year

I know that it is already 2008 in most of the world, but I just wanted to say thanks for reading and commenting here. I'm amazed and pleased that you stop by my blog.

I hope that 2008 is kind to you and is filled with more hope than despair.

Kian is on my lap as I type this, chattering away and clearly intent on making a break from Mommy's lap. Chas is washing dishes and Angie is attempting to finish dinner so that we can introduce Kian to our Family New Year's Tradition--Watching The Jungle Book (animated). Singing and cavorting around the living room are involved. It's a cozy good time.

Just forfun, here is a little glimpse of me, created by my husband in meez. I added an anklet, which you can't see, but pleases me because I know it is there. I think only three people (including Chas) reading this blog have actually seen me in person, so you must trust me when I tell you that this is a reasonably good representation of me, as close as any animated gif will be. I was tempted to add the floor length Winter Goddess robe (in purple), but I couldn't stop giggling--even animated me can't quite pull that off. The black leather international spy top was right out as well. So here you have simply me:

Wishing you peace, joy, love, hope, happiness and other good things in the new year.

End of the Month Update

Just brief bits from me:

I've been sick this week so no posting and very little stitching. Midi is not done, nor is Amethyst. Bummer. I did stitch two ornaments but I'm just not up to scanning or tinkering with photos (heck I can barely spell "photos" at the moment). I don't think I'll be able to stitch anything for the Holiday Bazaar which is next Thursday unless I have a remarkable recovery in the next twenty four hours.

I did make some progress on Taj ( can I tell you how much I love Taj? Such beautiful colors and I love my fabric) and on the Christmas Mandala (hate the gates, hate the plain white fabric I'm using but I just want this one done) so I'm glad I did the Chatelaine SAL. I might see if anyone wants to join me at the end of December for another week long SAL.

My computer is really misbehaving so if you don't hear from me for even longer, you'll know this antique I use for internet is not cooperating.

In happy news:

My dear friend Cathy gave birth to the handsome, squeaky Myles. Yay!

And from our household: Kian had the "watershed" Cardiology appointment today (Doctor's words not mine). He had both an ECG and an ultrasound/echo thing (very cool--the ultrasound technician let me breastfeed him during the ultrasound to keep him calm. She told me that she had breastfed too and so she understood.) He is basically at the same level as he was immediately following surgery! At this stage, if things start to go wrong, it will most likely be a gradual change that we can detect by our monitoring appointments, instead of the rapid changes immediately after he was born. We will always need to monitor him, but for now, she is very pleased. We are overjoyed.

And from the crazy me file:

Because I am such a good wife, I'm allowing to go on the trip to see his friend this weekend (which was originally planned as a family trip to see his friend's family). I, in my current unhealthy state, will be staying behind with the kids. Heaven help me. I honestly don't know how hubby is going to make this one up to me.

That's it for now--I'm bone tired and need to brace myself for the coming weekend.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend.

I'm so good!

How evil are you?

I received that result even though I selected "lawyer"--amazing isn't it.

Thanks for the Birthday wishes. I had a nice day. Angie made me a card and drew a picture of me. Chas gave me the Heroes Season 1 on DVD and a Firefly graphic novel (see how well he knows me?) Kian gave me big smiles even though I had to take him to the nurse for a flu booster shot. And I received gift cards to Barnes and Noble and Amazon from my Mom and a good friend. We had salmon, salad, and rice for dinner and instead of cake (with all those milk proteins), I had a birthday soft pretzel (Beloved husband had a chocolate eclair in honor of my Birthday--golly that is so nice of him. I won't mention how long it is taking for him to eat the durn thing...).

A few posts ago, I asked whether I could stitch some freebies an give them to Angie's school to sell at their fundraising craft fair. Faye wisely suggested I contact the designer. The only problem is that the designs I want to stitch for the school are from this site. My French speaking and writing skills are no longer merely rusty, they are unintelligible. (And my French grammar books are lost somewhere between last year's flood and last year's house fire). I have no idea how to compose an e-mail in French explaining the situation and requesting permission to sell the stitched designs at the craft fair. I shudder to think what babelfish might do to such a request. Anyone know french well enough to help me write an e-mail?

If you haven't done so before, you really ought to peruse her site. The pickmachinchoses are incredible--I'm itching to stitch several of them for Angie. I think the kids at her school would just love them. Even if I can't get an e-mail posted in time for the holiday craft fair, I'll still try to obtain permission for the spring festival.

I was unable to finish Midi today. I need to frog some beads --I made a switcheroo that didn't work so I'll go back to the original beads. I have to finish a little more than half the sheaf stitches and all but one jessica window then only the beads remain. If I had to guess, I'd say that I'm under ten hours to completion. I can't wait to show her to you. I tried to take a few photos at work, but I don't have time to upload them tonight.

We are heading to PA to see my in-laws tomorrow and I will probably pack Midi for the trip, but I might not have a chance to stitch her. Beading really only works well at home or on my lunch hour.

I'm also packing Taj for the trip and I'm hoping to finish part 1--so please join me Janet (and anyone else)! I'm only a little farther along than the photos here. I think you can see the square shape. WG will go with me as well. Perhaps, JG and maybe Autumn for a start in the car. Maybe Tree of Hope as well. Do you see why I am having a Chatelaine SAL at the BB?

I won't have much time to post this week so I hope everyone has a wonderful week and a lovely Thanksgiving.

Just a Little Update

I have managed to take photos of Tina's book so I present the cover, interior and spine.

I loved making the book. I almost had to pinch myself to believe I was actually finishing it all on my own. Once I jumped in and started the sewing, the directions became very clear to me. I was giddy with my success. Not bad for a first effort.

I am quite proud of the spine and how well it works as a book. I used a thin layer of batting to give the spine some body and it came together fairly easily. I will say that I cheated and used the sticky back mat board to attach the batting for each piece. Also, since I have small kids, I used Aleene's craft glue rather than a hot glue gun. Angie had fun helping me glue a second layer of batting.

I wish the ribbons would make a pretty bow, but they look nice, all the same. You can see closer scans of the interior designs here and here. I have a few of Judy Odell's books, I need a few more.

The masses found in Tina's brain are not more tumors, they are blood clots. I never thought I'd be relieved to hear that someone "just" had blood clots. She is feeling a bit better. My Mom gave me Tina's new address tonight so I'm hoping to mail it by Saturday.

I won't be able to enter the tuffet contest--I ran out of a Dinky Dyes silk and no one around here carries her silks. Oh well, I intend to finish it as soon as I get a new skein so I'll post pictures of it later. Since this was to be a quickie project and shouldn't have gone past August, I plan to acquire another skein somehow and finish it in September. I love my tuffet-to-be and hope you will too.

I managed to stitch two ornaments for this month's SAL. You can see them at the Ornament SAL blog. Let me just say again: that was a ridiculous amount of beads for an ornie. It is heavy.

It's been ages since I posted a scan of Frog Prince 3 so here it is. Look: she has face and hair! I'm hoping to finish it by the end of the year. I still have a long way to go though. I'm afraid to think about how much confetti that table has. I mean, she's eating peas for heaven's sake! Peas! The world's tiniest vegetable. Sigh. And this would be why I removed the Gustafson's from my wish list: I love the designs, but the confetti is both necessary and mind-boggling.

HAED is starting to post freebies and the very first one was the Pirate Dragon by Lisa Victoria. It's a mini portion of the QS so I was thinking of stitching it rather quickly for Kian. I know I don't need another start. But to my credit, I'll at least wait until I finish either my tuffet or a bookmark UFO. Any bets on whether I can go down to fewer than 30 WIPs, SWIPs and UFOs by the end of December. Yeah, I think it's unlikely as well.

I have faithfully stitched on my Love Quilt project a little bit each day. At my current rate, I should finish it by the end of September at the latest. I ran out of one thread (seems to be a theme this month) and the new DMC skein is clearly a different dyelot, so I'll need to tinker a bt to make it look acceptable.

I'm trying to develope a rotation for my return to work. I'm thinking of focusing on WG, JG, Midi 1, Santorini and the Japanese Angel at work with a full work week being devoted to each, except that the last two would share a week. Frog Prince would be the Wednesday SAL project as well as the Angie bath project and I would still do the HAED challenge and Ornie SALs. During the partial weeks, I could stitch something else.

We have been heavy into the start of Kindergarten this week so I've had little computer time. Angie is loving school thus far, but I think it is sinking in that, oh wow, this is an everyday kind of thing. The school has lots of variety throughout the week so she won't get bored: swimming one day, computers and music another, art, gym. She is still doing Gymboree as well so at night there is very little trouble getting her to fall asleep. For myself, I wonder if I should ask the teacher more questions about how Angie is doing or just assume all is well. I'm going to miss the excitement of picking her up from school when I return to work. She's bubbling over to tell us about the fun she's had. Today she met Mr. D and he taught them dancing. Very cool stuff for Angie.

Unfortunately, her allergies are flaring and I'm not certain we will be able to send her to school. She will be so disappointed.

Kian is as handsome as ever. He's outgrown most of his clothes already and is in the six to nine month range for clothes now. I'm getting great exercise just lifting and carrying him. He is very into studying hands (his and mine) at present.

I'm just trying to savor this last little bit of leave before I return to work. Chas told me today that he has enjoyed having me home these past few months. That was nice to hear. As stressful as it has been at times, spending time with my family has been a treasure and a blessing.

The (Big, Long) Hospital Story

So this is just a bit over due. I already posted about the hours before we left for the hospital. I also posted about breastfeeding while Kian was in the hospital here if you are interested. Chas posted his thoughts here and here. This post covers the rest of my experience.

We arrived at the hospital right at 6:00 am just as we were told to do. The procedure was still scheduled for 7:30 and they needed to process us first. We checked in with Registration who did not have a reservation for us, meaning that his room was not ready, but we were reassured that this was not a problem. We were directed to the cardiac care floor to take Kian's vitals and let us meet the medical team.

We were escorted to a consultation room where we stripped Kian out of his pajamas and some wonderful nurses admired Kian while taking his measurements. I was impressed when Kian returned to sleep quickly. Angie was the kind of baby who would have stayed awake and cranky with all that fiddling--her loosely established pattern of sleeping and eating could easily be altered. Kian quickly developed the ability to sleep for several hours at night. Nothing can shake his schedule. He slipped back to sleep immediately after feeding at 3:00 am that morning as well.

We were told to wait and someone from the lab would be down to see us. It was 6:45 am at that point. We waited for about twenty minutes, then Chas went to the nurses station. Finally, a cardiac resident entered the room around 7:30, when the procedure was set to begin. The first thing she said was, "The procedure has been rescheduled for 8:30." The scheduling department allegedly called us the day before to provide the new time. Ummmm. We never received that call. I thought Chas was going to jump out of his chair and hunt down the schedulers.

The resident gave us the basics--I can't tell you how stressful it is to hear, "We're doing this procedure because the risks of the procedure are far less than the risks of doing nothing." I just hope you never have someone say that to you while referring to your child, especially when you've had little sleep and are holding the sleeping child in your arms. It kind of takes your breath away.

At 7:45, the resident left, Chas and I continued our waiting. I think the delay just added to our stress, because we just sat there, looking at Kian, and worrying about what might happen next for almost an hour.

Finally, a nurses came for us and put my suitcase in a locked storeroom. Then she took us into the hallway to meet some of the nurses who would be caring for Kian during the valvuloplasty. One of them directed us to a pair of ominous doors down a long hall and I thought my legs were going to give out. I would have done much better if we had been told the correct time. I would have had less time that morning to stew over everything. I wanted to run away, with Kian. I wanted him to be perfect and healthy and not need this medical intervention. But I took him through those doors because I knew that I couldn't wish him to be well.

Once through the doors, we met the doctor who would be performing the valvuloplasty. I could not have described him. I don't think I actually looked at him, I was so busy staring at Kian who was awake and confused by the lack of food. What I did see was a man's hand gently touching my son's head, complimenting Kian and asking if we had questions. I was inordinately grateful for the kind manner he used with us and with Kian.

We entered the Cath lab with the Doctor, the Nurses and met still more nurses and medical staff. I'm embarrassed to say that I don't remember any of their names or faces. They were all very nice to us, but Chas and I were so tense from the waiting and worrying that I'm sure we seemed stiff to them. I could barely speak I was so nervous and overwhelmed by the enormous banks of equipment and monitors. One of the nurses asked about Kian's name, and she had to ask me to repeat my answer because I was barely audible. More waiting as the anesthesiologist had not arrived. The Doctor sat with us for a few minutes and asked if we had any questions. I babbled something about trusting him and feeling comfortable with what the resident had explained. I just wanted it to be over because we had been waiting so long. I wanted them to work on Kian so that we could learn whether this procedure could help him.

Once everyone was present, we laid Kian on the table and he was screaming at us. One of the nurses joked, "there's nothing wrong with his lungs." We were told to leave his binky (pacifier) on the table because, "he might need it." They readied the anesthesia and we were told to say goodbye. "Now it's time for Mom and Dad to leave." Chas remembers seeing them put the mask over his face; I don't. I didn't see anything except the door out but as I left, I heard Kian crying hysterically. I couldn't do anything to comfort him.

Chas and I ate a bagel downstairs before going to the waiting room. I pumped for a few minutes in an empty exam room and felt better than I had all morning. I returned to Chas in the waiting area and picked up my stitching for the love quilt to keep my hands occupied.

It did not seem that much time had passed, when Chas bolted from his seat to the door of the waiting area. I looked up and saw a man in surgical garb. My legs locked and I stared uncomprehending for a few moments until it sunk in that this was Kian's doctor. I ran out the door worried that something had gone wrong, but the Doctor was smiling. Kian did very well and they were just taking some measurements as a baseline for future reference while Kian was still unconscious. His aorta was between 45 and 55% blocked before the procedure and they had managed to open it to roughly 10%. His heart chambers looked good and the area where the aorta connects with the heart appeared strong. This means that Kian is a good candidate for a second valvuloplasty, if it becomes necessary. We would be able to see Kian shortly as we would all go down to the recovery ward together. We thanked him and returned to the waiting room.

When they finished with Kian, another nurse retrieved us and we stood in the hallway outside the lab eager to see our boy. The doors opened and the medical team wheeled Kian out in a bed about 2/3 the size of a normal hospital bed. The team looked very pleased, happy with what they had accomplished. Their faces were a blur to me because I was looking at Kian, whose eyes were opened wide and seemed confused an in pain. Most heart-rending of all--Kian was whimpering. I hadn't expected to see him awake just yet. He whimpered the entire trip to the Recovery Ward.

We were briefly deposited in another waiting area while Kian was taken to his assigned station in the ward. Chas barely had time to ask me if I thought he should start calling family or if he should wait until we return to the Cardiac Floor ("wait"), when we were taken back to Kian's bedside.

The Recovery Ward is an amazing place--it's a large open room (one of two) with children separated by curtains. We were there just a few minutes when I turned to Chas and said "I couldn't work here." The sound of all those children crying in pain would tear at me. Kian was strapped into an adult leg brace (the type used in ACL injuries) to restrict his movement and prevent him from bleeding to death. Faithfully every fifteen minutes, the nurse assigned to Kian checked his vitals signs. Chas insisted that I sit down because I was wobbling due to hunger and lack of sleep. I bounced between sitting in the rocking chair and standing at Kian's bedside. Kian slept. Occasionally, his eyes would pop open, but he closed them just as quickly and I don't know if he realized we were with him. My husband, bored with waiting, read Kian's chart--not that he understood anything written. Kian's nurse scolded Chas and took the chart from the bed when Chas kept peeking at it. My husband is incorrigible.

After an hour, Kian was doing wonderfully and was sent to the cardiac floor. For the rest of the day, a host of doctors, residents, interns, fellows, nurses and nursing assistants came to Kian's pie wedge room. I must confess that as serious as it was, I felt a bit like I was on an episode of Scrubs. At one point Chas was dozing on the pullout couch, Kian was surrounded by eight residents, interns and nurses all trying to find the pulse in Kian's foot. The conversation was something like this:

"Can you find it?"

"I thought I found it but now I'm not sure."

"Get the Doppler."

"That's the Doppler we have for this floor? It's ancient." (it looks like an old transistor radio)

"Let me go borrow one from NICU."

"Hmmm. I thought I felt it here. Let me try his other foot."

"Is that my pulse or his?"

"The nurse in recovery found the pulse?"

"Yes she said she had no trouble."

"That is so weird that we can't find it now. "

"Too bad she didn't mark it on his foot."

"We'll mark it when we find it." (Pen is readied)

To me "Don't worry--he's okay, sometimes its hard to find the pulse on infants."

" Oh that's a much better Doppler." (clearly a more modern piece of equipment)

"Can you find it now?"

"I'm still not sure." (two more doctors enter the room)

"Hey, which side did you go in?"

"Left."

"Really, I thought it was the right."

"No it was the left."

"We can't find his pulse."

"Really? I found it here. Hmm."

This went on for fifteen to twenty minutes until the chief pediatric resident came and found Kian's pulse in both feet, which were promptly marked with x's. I would have worried but I was giddy from lack of sleep and I was watching Kian's steady heartbeat on the monitors.

Another time, a resident brought another Resident to our room and said, "We were told your son has a perfect heart murmur. Is it okay if we listen to it?" In my grandest voice I replied, "Yes, you can listen to our son's perfect murmur." They also let me borrow a stethoscope so I could listen. I couldn't distinguish the sounds though I had thought I'd heard something prior to his procedure with my ear to his chest (they assured me that wasn't likely).

Angie came to the hospital to check on Kian and me. I read her a few stories because I had missed her and wanted to snuggle with her for a few minutes. Chas returned home with her and his Mom. Kian slept most of the afternoon and awoke to gulp some pedialyte aroud 3:00 or 4:00. By 6:00, I was breastfeeding him directly and at 8:30, just before Chas left, Kian graced us with the most beautiful smile.

I spent a very sleepless night because Kian wanted food and comfort every ninety minutes. Doctors and nurses continued to come in and out of the room around the clock as well. And the young girl whose room connected with Kian's watched a "Fresh Prince" marathon from 10:30 p.m. until about 2:00 a.m. I sang to Kian while he nursed and told him stories (thanks to Laurie Berkner and Don and Audrey Wood). I was exhausted but at least my son was gloriously alive in my arms. It was wonderful just to live inside those moments with Kian and not think of anything beyond holding him in my arms while trying to keep all the monitors attached. I changed positions when his oxygen levels decreased slightly and reattached the monitor when it fell off. All night long, Kian would rest in his bed for a bit, then he would let me know that it was time for some cuddling and feeding.

We were released from the hospital with some instructions for pain relief and a follow up appointment with his regular cardiologist. Kian's left foot was oddly cold, it seemed to radiate cold at times, but that is normal. The needle and tubes used in a valvuloplasty are the same diameter as the artery and this can make the artery spastic for a bit. It took three or four weeks for his feet to be the same temperature.

It was a few days before I felt rested. It was a few weeks before Kian was happy being held by anyone other than me. Angie was a bit angry both at having me gone for the over night and for having Grandma leave the next day.

The doctor who performed the valvuloplasty is cautiously optimistic that this will resolve the problem and Kian won't need additional medical intervention in the future. His regular cardiologist is certain that the stenosis will return in a few months or years. I worry, but I remain hopeful. I'm trying to just enjoy the little moments for now.

Random Act of Goodness

Let me start by saying, "Thank you unknown fellow Northeastern Ohio crafter."

Yesterday my brother e-mailed me to say that Tina had received her brother's stem cells. We don't know if this will work, but it is the only treatment left. He added that her own stem cells are gone and she has no immune system so even the mildest virus could do serious harm.

I decided that I would get the supplies I needed from Jo Ann's immediately. So Kian and I went with Angie and Chas to her drop off class. Chas, Kian and I ran to JoAnn's while Angie was at class.

I found the right fabric, some ribbon to try ruching, and the acid free board I needed. Chas found some things we needed and some craft glue required for kindergarten. I was feeling a little stressed and worried about my brother, in addition to a few other things so I grabbed the bags after paying and left.

Much later in the evening, I opened the bags to pull Angie's glue to put with her other supplies. I discovered that we were missing a bag completely. Chas checked the car and I looked around the house but no luck. It was a half an hour before the store closed so I called to see if they had found the bag. Nancy at guest services looked but no luck. She was very understanding and said that probably the customer after me received the bag with her own. She told me to come back and the store would replace my things.

I was really distressed because I wouldn't be able to start the project that night.

So we stopped at JoAnn's after class and dinner tonight. I went to the guest services area and asked if there was a bag for me, figuring that there had been enough time that perhaps the other person had discovered the additional bag and returned it.

Guess what?

The bag was there bundled up and waiting for me! The girl at guest services was surprised and I was elated.

Thank you again random fellow stitcher!

So tonight during Angie's bath, I'll cut some batting and the fabric. Hopefully I'll have something nice to show you within the next week.

The very short (somewhat sleepy) version

We're home.

The procedure went well.

The Doctor is very hopeful about the outcome.

I'm exhausted--not much sleep in the hospital for me and Kian.

I'll post more later when I'm not so achingly tired.

Thanks to everyone for the love, support, good thoughts and prayers.